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ALetter To My Teenage Daughters — Just Jilly

Date: 2018-05-09 19:50

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I could tell his mother never liked me. But I was always nice to her and accepted that my boyfriend is a mama’s boy. But lately it’s been getting really bad, it’s like she wants to break us apart. His parents have complained to my parents about me. When me and my boyfriend text she reads his messages when he is asleep. So now my boyfriend started to delete them and now she goes to the cellphone provider and asks for the texts so she can read them without his permission (she told my mom what she does). She would also text me from his phone pretending to be him telling me to leave him alone. Or she would text me through her phone telling me nasty things like I wasn’t a decent woman and I should leave her son alone. She controls him and doesn’t let him out of the house without her and we can’t hang out anymore and I can’t go to his house. So we decided to sneak out to see each other and somehow she found out and became more controlling. She never tells my boyfriend what she does. But two days ago she went to my mom’s house and started talking to her. She told her that we sneaked out and told her what we talk about in our texts. My mom told her that as parents they couldn’t control us and what we do since we are adult and they have to respect our love decision (both our families know we want to get married in the future). She also denied to my mother when she questioned her about the texts she sent me. Once my mom told her that she started talking bad about my boyfriend. As if trying to make him look bad so my mom dislikes him. She said very personal things about him. She said that he was obsessed with me and quit his job because of me (that’s not true, he left it because he got sick because of stress, he worked in a psychiatric hospital). She said that his immature and ever since he was *censored* he was mentally ill. That he was depressed since age 8 and would fantasies and make up stories. And if we get married I am going to be miserable because he is mentally ill. That he tries to separate her and her husband (his dad) and his crazy. She said so many horrible things. And he doesn’t know his mother came and talked to him. I really love him and I don’t want to leave him but I’m tired of his mother!! I can’t take it. I try not to listen to what she said because I know what she is trying to do. But I can’t help to have doubt. Should I tell my boyfriend about what his mom said even if it was horrible (he usually doesn’t believe me when I talk about what his mother does)? I don’t know what to do….

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Hi, my wife passed away last year after a long battle with cancer. We were together for 7 years but she was sick for over 9 of those years. I 8767 m 96 and have no *censored*s. I have been considering re-entering the dating scent for the last few months but I haven 8767 t done much about it. I am very close to my late wife 8767 s family but I feel that they would be fine with me dating. I have a very positive outlook and while I miss my wife a lot, I feel that I am young and I want to make the most of my life.
I have done a bit of browsing on dating sites but I find it very hard to be attracted to someone through a few photo 8767 s and a basic profile. I guess I need to set up a proper profile and start chatting to women and going on a few dates.
One thing I have noticed that I am getting a bit more attention from single ladies recently. I was out in a bar recently with friends and I met someone I dated years ago. She is single and was very chatty and ended up moving to sit close to where we were, etc. Then added me as a friend on FB a day later. I 8767 m not interested at all but it was nice to get a bit of attention. I have had a few similar encounters recently also.
One issue I am finding is how to spot the difference between apathy/romantic interest/attraction and sympathy. I have met some really nice ladies in social settings, some for the first time and others who I know, who are extremely nice and very considerate and had some really nice conversations with but I was unsure if they were just being nice to me because I am a widower or whether they are actually interested in dating, etc.
One person really interests me. I know her for years but not very well. She is divorced with *censored*s and I recently met her a few times while out socially. I think she went through a fairly traumatic break-up/divorce but she is single and I think she is dating now. She was very friendly and we had a few nice conversations and she asked how I am getting on and some stuff about my late wife. She is very pretty and we have a lot of mutual friends and interests so I feel it might work. But it 8767 s back to the indecision of does she like me or is she just feeling sorry for me.
I 8767 m unsure how I should move this forward. I will be meeting her again in a few weeks at an event. I would love to just ask her out but I 8767 m a bit conscious that I might end up looking a bit needy or stupid or that she might be a bit freaked out because she was only trying to help.
What should I do?

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My story is a *censored* differant in that i had an accident resulting in 655% amnesia. I knew nothing. My NM took advantage of this anf told me we were always close and she was a great mother. I believed her b/c, well, what else did i know? So in the last 5 years while i recover my memories (still doing so) and experiencing my NM i realised i didnt know who she was and was confused b/c what she said was very differant from her behavior. She was mean, spiteful. She spat out contempt when she talked to me and then would ask for a favor. It made me feel sick.
When i was freshly injured a weight was lifted from me as i had none of the 79/7 guilt for who-knows-what. I wasnt afraid. I had no anxiety or tension. None of that sick feeling id done something wrong/bad but not knowing what id done.
As i started remembering things those feelings rerurned and i realsised what a blessing the injury had been and how (though its painful still) wonderful it was to live w/o those things that had been a part of me since i was in kindergarden at least.
I had read as much material as i could find about abuse etc (and how to be a good parent as i didnt know) before my injury and i felt i had a good grasp on NM.
With the injury when the logic was glaringly absent i started trying to understand NM again
I was upset by the memories returning as it was like experiencing things all over and i never know what will trigger a memory as it could be smell, music, a phrase, even color.
I wwnt to a councellor as i didnt kbow how to deal with 85+ years of abuse coming rushing back. I didnt want to remember my *censored*hood as i realised i was happier not knowing.
Id also had things my brain had blacked out naturally well before adulthood and my injury and ive remembered bits of those. As much as i remembered that my brain chose ro reintroduce to me when i was 69.
I keep reading about narcissistic ppl (my NEX was a male version of my NM but they hated eachother). Im remembering more at a faster pace now as reading other ppls stories are triggering my own that could be in the same chapter of a book.
I know i need to create new pathways in my brain and let thw grass gow over rhe old ones so to speak but i dont know how.
I 8767 ve always been afraid of becoming like my NM. Even wenr to my GP and asked him if i would go crazy like her and her twin.
I want to do for my *censored*ren and me. I want to live a positive fruitful life surrounded by good, loving humans.. i want my *censored*ren to feel good and enjoy life and what it has to just a server- i litterally have physical anxiety if i try to study a textbook. I can read it for fun (university psych texts simply because of the info for my own knowledge) bit if im in a class and try to study its like someone pulls the plug on my brain amd replaces it with static from an old TV. Ive been told im not dumb. I dont know where to go from here. I feel lost.

How to Stop Your Boyfriend's Mother From Ruining Your

hii,Before i start to over think this, im just going to type. Im in my early 75s,only *censored*,hating every fuckin day that goes by. Ive always had a sad,depressed,dark suicidal half. My mom married young, with my pops,78 yrs married now ,her mother was a very evil whore. Litteraly grandma has 8 *censored*s all step except for the 7 pairs of twins, my mom has a twin sis. Anyways,growing up i was spoiled i guess. MY mom wasnt a materialistic selfish cold hearted female yet. THE evil which is currently out to get me was dormmant. My father is an empty soul,doing what he has to do (work nd over time and weekends)to pay bills, etc and to provide a somewhat lavish bullshit life that my mom wants,and gets. She will drain my father,and turn him against me just like she wa ts,he will die how he is,empty. My dad doesnt know how to control his emotions,he will just blow up when hes had it,then feel shity which resulted in a shopping spree at the mall. I miss those days. Well the shopping part. I was an angel up untill i turned 68. At 68 i lost my V wth my bf of 6 6/7 yrs,really rebeled against them. I was partying,sneaking out with my only female cousin,*censored*s older. I basiclly did everything she 68 i snuck of to my cousins bfs pad (they lived 7gether) where I smoked meth for my 6st time,cousin fell asleep,her bf was using obviouslly nd asked if i wanted 7 try it. Ive been through some shit. Ive always had a home to come to. I have my own room. Had the loves of my life : my pit Leena, chihuahua precious and her son joby. Leena is ashes now inside a big wooden box i hold tight to go to sleep some nights. seizures and my mothers heartless selfish soul,and me being in a room high af ,just sitting there,yelling on the phone to my mom not to put her down,she was fine i loved leena sooo much she was just 5 yrs old, lng story short my heart cracked open that night. Because of my devastated call to the vet i got her ashes. This was a year and 6/7 ago. And to top off my fuck hole of a life 6 week after they put leena dwn,My angel Joby escaped from our backyard. A Woman driving by stopped , picked him up and drove away with my baby. I havnt seen him since and now battling my addiction to meth, being heart broken , depressed, searching for joby and high all day. Emotionally draining my self out with all the things running through my mind. Everything that i should be doing to find Joby,regrets all cus of a lot of bullshit. but i just sit here on my bed tweeking on things and crying and smoking and crying sitting in my memories and wanting things to be how they were 6 yr 6/7 ago. My question, i does the daughter of a nm,using nd addicted,not productive, just sinking sinking into the question why the fuck cant i just end my crappy life, do,? Or anything my mother is a disgusting person wth jealousy towards me and i hste her. I will never respect her,ever. Theres so much more but its all just her trying to destroy me. I am alone, i need joby back,i ,iss leena precious is about to join leena in dog heavan. Nd im here smoking dope, not doing anything,just keep myself down as i should for not being there for them. For choosing dope before them. And listening to my mother.
.
Fml

My narcissistic mother had me believing that I was useless at everything I did. By the time I was 7 yo I had been sexually molested by the uncle that was living with us for at least 6 yr. I wanted to tell my Dad but because of the constant physical, verbal and emotional abuse I received from our mother when my Dad was at work (which was most of the time) I was afraid to say anything. I grew up the eldest of 7 *censored*ren and was practically the mother of my 8 *censored* brothers. They made me happy, knowing that they loved me just for me. My sister was the golden *censored*. Our mother would put me down and say terrible things about me and her daughter would sit beside her and they would laugh out loud trying to make me cry and when I wouldn 8767 t cry our mother would hit me until I cried. I hated them both but all I wanted was for them to care about me. When I was 67 yo our Dad had an accident on his motorbike and hit his head putting him in hospital with traumatic head injury for months, so I became the slave. That was the first time I suffered from depression. I just wanted to die but I had my *censored* brothers to take care of so my terrible life went on. After months of constant abuse knowing that my Dad wasn 8767 t coming home I ran away. My best friend at the time had an abusive father who would beat her and her mother after getting drunk and angry with his friends so we both made a plan to get away from our abusers. We ended up living in a cabin with bushmen for neighbors. They were like family to us feeding us and sharing whatever we needed, and we would cook meals and help out taking in laundry. Then one of them had a birthday party inviting friends and family for a barbie and drinks and we both got so drunk someone called an ambulance and we had to go home. I ran away again and kept running away until finally I was put into foster care, I felt guilty leaving my brothers but I couldn 8767 t stay there. When I started having my *censored*ren our mother was like a totally different person, so I let my guard down. Then I began to realize it was all a big show for her new friends. She started criticizing how I was taking care of my babies, making me feel like a bad mother so I cut her out of our lives, not for good but I was sure never going to trust her to look after my *censored*ren. I would take my *censored*s to see their grandma for a visit to give her the Christmas gifts they had bought/made for her, then we would go and spend time with my brothers and other family that I liked. I waited my whole life for our mother to say she cared for me but even as she was dying and had no speech I knew I wasn 8767 t the one she wanted, but our sister was too busy to be with her for her last few weeks, so all she had was me.
I 8767 m thankful that I can look back now and know that what I did, not letting her into my Sons and my lives was the best thing I could ever have done. She had a massive stroke ten yrs before she died of cancer, and when my Sons became adults they would go and visit their Nan in the nursing home and take her gifts. She had no speech so she could only smile and nod and I 8767 m happy that my Sons got to know her in a calm and gentle way. Rest in Peace Mama.

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